Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Pet Peeve

2 comments
Anyone who knows me, knows I like reading online fiction (usually "fanfiction" in its many genres). This leads me to a personal pet peeve: grammar and spelling mistakes.

I'm not immune, mind you -- I've had my fair share of both through time. But some authors either don't care (often quoting that they don't care for reviewers to point out their spelling/grammar mistakes), or just don't make the effort to write to a semi-professional standard.

A lot of people would claim "why should they?" and point out that these authors are amateur writers (i.e. not being paid for their work). While in many ways this is relevant and true, nonetheless having an author trying to better themselves and their standard of work has its own benefits: i.e. a happier audience; a more appreciative audience; and, ultimately, an audience that is likely to keep on reading. There have been many a time when I've come across the fourth or fifth error in the space of half a page and thought to myself, "Bugger that! I'm not going to waste any more time trying to cope with these speed bumps along the way of my (attempted) enjoyment of this work."

(but not in so many words... )

Sadly, this is a valid concern for a lot of people reading fiction online. I, at least, persevere -- I give the author a fourth or fifth chance; many other readers would be lucky to give them a second chance, let alone more, when reading such stories.

So, with that in mind, following are presented some grammar/spelling tips for potential authors:

(note: these are just some of the more irksome 'errors' I come across on an almost daily basis.)

"breath" vs "breathe"

breath = one (and generally only one) exhalation/inhalation of air

e.g.
He took a deep breath before launching into his explanation.
She let out a startled breath when the corpse suddenly twitched.


breathe = the autonomic process of breathing (i.e. taking breaths)

e.g.
"Breathe, damn it!" she urged, as she continued to resuscitate her boyfriend.


"close" vs "clothes"

close = 1) to shut something; 2) be near an object

e.g.
A deep voice bellowed, "Close that window before I catch my death of cold!"
Hugging close to the surface of the ocean, the fog lay heavy, dark, and dangerous.


clothes = garments; articles of clothing (things that people wear)

e.g.
My clothes were muddier than the Nile delta.


"lightning" vs "lightening"
this one is a common mistake...

lightning = the streak of light often accompanying thunder during a storm

e.g.
Lightning arced across the heavens, sending the superstitious folk fleeing.

lightening = 1) the process whereby something becomes lighter in colour; 2) the lessening of a burden or the lessening of a weight

e.g.
Lightening their mule's packs resulted in it picking up speed.
The bright flash lit the sky, lightening the dark heavens momentarily.



"their" vs "there" vs "they're"

their = belonging to 'them' (possessive pronoun)

e.g.
The police officers confiscated their skateboards.

there = 1) over there (a different location to 'here'); 2) "in that place"

e.g.
"Go over there, and apologise to Moira right now!"

they're = equivalent to "they are" (and ONLY "they are"!)

e.g.
The hospital spokesperson said that they're in a stable condition.


"sole" vs "soul"

sole = 1) the part of the foot that touches the ground; 2) 'the only one' ("alone")

e.g.
My sole bled profusely after stepping on the nail.
The sole survivor of the avalanche spoke at a press conference today.


soul = a human being's 'essence' (the spiritual part of a person's being)

e.g.
He poured his soul into his music.


"heel" vs "heal"

heel = another part of the foot (back part in this case)

e.g.
Her heel felt as if it was rubbed raw; so much for buying a smaller sized shoe!

heal = where an injury or malady is repaired/fixed/healed

e.g.
The scars would remain, but the fractured soul would eventually heal.


"too" vs "to" vs "two"
you'd be amazed how many people this one irks...

too = 1) "as well"/"in addition"; 2) "more than (enough)"

e.g.
Before I could feel jealous, my dad said, "You can come to the pool too."
The car drove too fast on the slippery roads, and ended up in a ditch.


two = the number 2 (enough said!)

to = almost everything else not covered by the above two definitions

e.g.
"To boldly go where no infinitives have been split!"
Where can I go to have a good time?
To err is human; to really #%@&$ up takes a computer.


"its" vs "it's"
another 'favourite' of mine, and one which will be covered more in a later section...

it's = "it is" (and ONLY "it is"!)

e.g.
"It's with great regret that I have to tell you..."

its = a thing (or aspect of something) that belongs to 'it'

e.g.
Its bark is worse than its bite.

Note: I won't repeat this, as it's blindingly obvious when you think about it -- as a general rule, when deciding whether to use its or it's, attempt to speak the sentence out loud, and substitute 'it is' in place of it's/its. If the sentence sounds right (i.e. 'it is' sounds right in that context), then you're usually safe to use "it's" instead of "its".

For example, "It's no use crying." sounds right even when you convert it to "It is no use crying." Therefore, in this instance, "it's" is the right form to use. However, "It's cry echoed around the valley." doesn't sound right when converted to "It is cry echoed around the valley." So in this case, it should be "its" instead of "it's" that is used in the sentence. Always attempt to convert it's/its to 'it is' in your writing, and if it makes sense, then "it's" is the right choice; if it doesn't make sense, or you're not sure, then use "its".



"lose" vs "loose"

lose = 1) "mislay"/"be deprived of"; 2) the action of removing something; 3) opposite of win

e.g.
"How did you lose your virginity?"
"Lose the hat, soldier!" barked my CO.
"Don't lose the race, or you won't go to the Olympics!"


loose = "not tight" (opposite of tight)

e.g.
Her clothes hung loose on her anorexic frame.


"taut" vs "taunt" vs "taught"

taut = tight; stretched tight; not a lot of give

e.g.
His muscle shirt was taut across his chest.

taunt = tease (usually in a bad way); ridicule; call names

e.g.
The children continued to taunt Bo Peep for her (lack of) shepherding skills.

taught = something that has been instructed/educated to a person

e.g.
The teacher taught us to do our sums right.


"dying" vs "dieing" vs "dyeing"

dying = the process of ceasing to exist

e.g.
She lay dying, her blood soaking scarlet into the sand.

dieing = No such word! Never use this! On pain of death!! Shame on you!!! :)

dyeing = the process of changing an object's colour from one colour to another

e.g.
The dyeing produced wishy washy results; my hair would not recover for weeks!


"strait" vs "straight"

strait = narrow channel of water between two larger bodies of water

e.g.
She'd never sailed the Straits of Gibraltar before.

straight = in an unbending line; direct

e.g.
"Straight ahead, and on till morning."


"waste" vs "waist"

waist = the part of the human body below the ribs and above the hips

e.g.
My waist line has not recovered from the Christmas binge eating.

waste = 1) rubbish; 2) spend frivolously

e.g.
The waste basket is overflowing.
He can waste time like no one's business.



Okay, with the spelling out of the way, let's deal with grammar next.

"Mum" vs "mum" (aka "when to capitalise nouns")

This also applies, of course, to Dad/dad, Sis/sis, Bro/bro, Aunt/aunt, etc.

This is a common one to get 'wrong', but it's also a hard one to explain. The best way to explain when to use the lowercase form of any of these addresses/titles is when used in conjunction with the words 'my', 'your', 'his/her(s)', 'their', etc. If you use a qualifier in front of the address (e.g. my father; their uncle; her sister, etc.) then the address is lowercase. When used alone, without one of the qualifying words, then it should be capitalised (e.g. Uncle Steve; Mum and Dad; Sis; Grandma, etc.)

For example:
Mum and Dad were away when the house was burgled.
My mum and dad are often too busy to notice me.



Keep In Character (aka "nationality matters")

On the subject of 'mum' as we were previously discussing...

A character's nationality is ULTRA IMPORTANT in fanfiction. If you are writing about a British character, the character must speak British English, not American English (or Australian/Canadian/New Zealand English).

e.g. he/she must say 'Mum' instead of 'Mom', or 'Arse' instead of 'Ass', or 'Mobile' instead of 'Cell Phone'.

This is regardless of the author's own nationality. Though I'm not as strict with word spelling outside of speech (e.g. using the American word in narrative portions, but the British English version in speech), it's usually a better idea to just use the one form of the word regardless.

e.g. His mom continued to glare at him, even after he said, "I'm sorry, Mum."

The above just looks tacky, even though strictly speaking an American author is well within his/her rights to use their native spelling in non-speech portions of the text.

Which is why I'd recommend using a different word in narrative portions of the text where this issue may arise (e.g. use 'mother' in place of mom/mum, as mother is universal to both spelling systems).


Proper Nouns

What's a proper noun? Basically it's a name (over simplifying here, but...) For example, Microsoft is a proper noun. So is Nike. Another name for 'proper noun' is 'proper name'. So when speaking about a generic "sneaker", which is a noun (aka common noun), you don't capitalise it. But when speaking of a particular brand of sneaker--e.g. Nike--it must be capitalised.

some examples:

common noun: city; proper noun: Paris
common noun: person; proper noun: Jennifer
common noun: dishwasher; proper noun: Whirlpool
common noun: computer; proper noun: IBM
common noun: parent; proper noun: Dad


Possession vs Plural (and then plural possesions)

Disregarding the oddities in the English language, pluralisation is normally achieved by adding an 's' to the end of a word. e.g. car (singular) -> cars (plural). There are exceptions, of course, which would take almost as much space to cover just by themselves as I've already raved on about here.

Object possession, on the other hand, is generally indicated by adding an apostrophe and an "s" (i.e. 's) at the end of a word. e.g. the computer's hard drive; the car's radio, etc.

Note: This applies to objects only; it does not apply to the pronouns 'my', 'your', 'his', 'her', 'our', or 'their'. They do not have a different spelling for their possessive forms, as these ARE their possessive forms.

e.g. their car; his wallet; our wives, etc. don't require the apostrophe, nor the trailing 's'.

The only exception to the above rule is the pronoun 'it'. 'It' has a different spelling for its possessive form, but without the apostrophe -- i.e.: the possessive form of it is its.

All very confusing, I know, but it all boils down to common sense.

1. Don't add an apostrophe when making a word its plural form. e.g. PCs is right, PC's is wrong; and
2. Don't add an apostrophe to 'it' to make the possessive form.

Where things become tricky is when you start talking about plural possessions. i.e. when discussing the possessive form of more than one object/person. In such cases, the apostrophe doesn't go BEFORE the 's', it goes AFTER the 's'.

e.g.
singular possession: computer's mouse (a mouse belonging to a single computer)
plural possessions: houses' driveways (the driveways belonging to two or more houses).

On rare occasions, you can even use this rule to determine whether the object is singular or plural (provided the author is worth their salt).

e.g. "our dad's cars" is different to "our dads' cars". The former means the cars belonging to a single person (our dad); the latter means the cars belonging to more than one person (our collective fathers -- i.e. my father, your father, and however many other fathers we're currently discussing).

Another example is the one stated just above: houses' driveways and house's driveways. The former means the collective driveways of two or more houses; the latter means the collective driveways of a single house (i.e. where the house has more than one driveway).

Of course, in the above examples there have been more than one of both the objects and the subjects (houses and driveways, and fathers and cars). However, the same rules apply even when talking about one thing that is possessed by multiple objects/people. For example, if my parents are co-owners of a store, then this is indicated as follows: my parents' store. It doesn't matter that there is only one thing that is being possessed (the store) -- the important qualification is that is it possessed by more than a singular entity. As such, the apostrophe STILL goes AFTER the s.

Be careful with plural possessions. :)

Anyway, I'll leave it here for now. There's lots more I could be ranting and raving about, but this is a good primer if any potential authors are serious about improving their standard of writing.

Oh, one final thought: if you're going to write seriously, get yourself a beta reader! Or preferably more than one. :) Good luck with your writing efforts!

P.S. In case you haven't picked up on it, overuse of !!!s and ????s is also a no-no. :) You should never use more than one ! or ? to end a sentence.
 
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